The Marriage Bed….Undefiled.

Holy, Sacred, Precious in God’s Sight……

Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.”. Heb 13:4 ampc

God instituted marriage. It is of His making. From a celestial viewpoint, your marriage (in so far as we have been truly joined together by God and not by lust) is a privilege. How so? Because He has granted you & your spouse the opportunity to ‘showcase’ & enjoy the divine relationship between Christ and His Church to a depraved world. A union which is marked by Unconditional Love, Selflessness and Purity.
On a corporeal level it is the mode through which one of God’s agenda for man is also advanced. Be fruitful, multiply, & replenish the Earth”.
When done correctly your marriage should glorify God’s wisdom, and put all creation in awe of Him.

Then there is the ‘marriage bed’.
In one sense it is an altar. Altar’s acted as the meeting point between God and Man (Abraham), the place for divine worship (Moses), celebration of God (Israel), sacrifice (Abram and Isaac), the place of atonement and fellowship.  We learn from Jesus’s rebuke of the scribes in Mathew 23:19 of the sanctifying value of the altar on the gift itself. It is the altar which makes the gift to be ‘sacred’.

If marriage is precious in the sight of God (Gen 2:24, Mal 2:14, Prov 18:2) & to be held in honor by all, then it also follows that the platform for consummation of the marriage is also of very high value to God.
At a bible study meeting I was at last year someone raised the following question:
If we are to walk in the Spirit always in order not to gratify the lusts of the flesh, does it also mean we are to be in the spirit when we are in the bedrooms with our spouse? the person went on further to explicitly ask, Is the Holy Spirit present when man and wife are having sex?”.
Consider that for a moment…..

“Let the Marriage Bed be undefiled”

Apostle Paul by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit was admonishing the Hebrew believers who lived under the morally debased society that was the roman empire at that time to set themselves apart from the moral decay and worldly ways of the world in which they lived. He was calling upon the brethren to prove their faith by living as shining lights by their practices and acts both in the open and in secret. This is a call which still applies to believers in the end times.

In our text of Hebrews 13:4, not only is the believer enjoined to hold marriage in the esteem and honour that God expects, But the marriage bed was specifically singled out for mention. Again the Altar and the Sacrifice…
Unquestionably it follows that there are ‘honourable ways’ of consummating the gift of marriage on the altar of the marriage bed, and “dishonourable ways” also. There is a way that the marriage bed would be used that will glorify the original intent and purpose of God’s plan, and there are ways that its use will make a complete mockery of God’s intent and purpose. The Apostle was calling the believers to always conduct themselves in a manner that would not make mockery of God even in the consummation of their marital life.

We all agree that Satan always seeks to grotesquely distort any manifestation of the image and glory of God. To this end he actively seeks out means through which he can defile God’s vessels and temple. In the act of sex he has found a crucial point of intensification in which he can easily establish strongholds in lives and bring men into bondage.
1 Corinthians 6:18 commands us to flee from sexual sin, every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. If our bodies are to be presented as living sacrifices and the literal temple in which God now dwells in us, it follows that there is no easier access to possession and manipulation of a soul than through the door of Sexual sin. The enemy knows that temple defiling sin ‘grieves the Holy Spirit’ and causes Him to be far from the believer and opens up the believer to different forms of attack and afflictions.

From my short & very limited experience in service, i’ve seen that no less than 7/10 of us professing Christians are in bondage to Satan in the area of sexual immorality. Many of us are not living in victory over sin particularly in the area of our sexual desires and ‘vices’. During deliverance ministrations we see that the Asmodee demonic spirit is very much prevalent and holds sway over the ‘closet lives’ of many brothers and sisters who otherwise appear to be virtuous believers in the church. Many ‘know’ by the conviction of the Holy Spirit but are afraid to talk about it and often do not know how to break out from under the power of it.
Now one reason for general ignorance particularly amongst young believers. is that most churches very rarely teach on this subject matter, and even the few who do relegate it to just the pre-marital class sessions rather than an ongoing renewal. There is also the stigma that goes with open and honest discussion about marital sex in our society which allows ignorance and mistakes to fester unchecked: resulting effect is that many are living in a continuous state of defilement.

Here is the scary part;God will Judge the sexually immoral and adulterousHeb 13:4b
Dear brother and sister in Christ, your ignorance will not prevent God’s wrath and judgment from visiting you in this matter.

How does the marriage bed become defiled?

Something is defined as ‘Perverse’ when it is used in a manner that goes against its originally intended use. In fact Webster’s dictionary defines a perverted form; asan aberrant sexual practice or interest especially when habitual

A common advice in marital counseling to Christians is to ‘Spice things up’ ‘Keep things interesting’ , The reality though is that 9/10 ten times we will always resort to ‘inspiration’ {consciously or otherwise} from worldly sources and affections: What we have seen in movies, read in books, magazines or heard in social discussions. When we ‘borrow’ from such notions in the world, it always comes at a cost of enmity with God.
If you’re a shepherd or a counselor in God’s service: remember it’s not Keep things interesting God requires of you to teach, But rather “Keep Things Sacred” should be the warning that is sounded continually.

#1 In Thought:
In the new testament dispensation what you imagine and engage with your mind can already be sinful. You don’t actually have to physically execute the act as was the presumed case in the past. Ref Matt 5:27-28. Well what does this have to do with the marriage bed?

Here’s 1 real world case i personally encountered this year as an example:
A spouse was lusting after another member of the opposite sex {a co-worker}, Rather than taking the thought captive and repenting of the sin, she continued in it until it invaded her marital bed. During intercourse with her spouse, in her mind she began to replace her spouse with her co-worker in the office. This continued until it became a stronghold in her life.
This might seem harmless to an unbeliever, But in God’s eyes this is ADULTERY (because it is now Adult + 2 = Adul3)..and it represents a high level betrayal of the vows taken. God sees even the hidden sins.

By indulging herself she actively defiles her marital bed.

From the spiritual side of things what she is doing is engaging demonic entities (via the Asmodee spirit) to co-join with Demons.

This is a far more common occurrence than many would like to admit.

In this particular case the bondage became so bad that an actual spirit being would come and have sex with her at a specific time of the night. She confessed to eventually never being able to be satisfied by her husband. It became the standard occurrence that when her husband would be asleep on the same bed, the spirit  husband would come and have sex with her whilst her husband was asleep. This was a door that opened up untold torment and affliction in the lives of both her and her husband until she eventually confessed the sin, repented and was delivered.

#2 In Deed: Sexual Positions
Perhaps the most common deception/lie that exists amongst married Christian couples is this notion that Now that we are legally married, according to 1 cor 7:4 she now belongs to me and I can use her in whatever way I desire & imagine

Yes 1 Cor 7:4 does say this:- “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does”.

Well my question to you believing husband is this; Yes you own her body in a manner of speaking, BUT are you using ‘your property’ in a way and manner that glorifies God or makes a mockery of Him???

And to you dear wife..the manner in which you are using the temple of the Lord (your husband’s body) does it glorify God or make mockery of His image and intent and purpose?

Let it be known that ownership of your spouse’s body is meant to be handled within the concept of New Testament Stewardship! No different from how your resources and time are also to be handled with a mind of Stewardship in trust for the one who now owns our very lives.

Without becoming crude over this medium, it’s important to note that this increased ‘copy-cat’ nature that the church seems bent on inheriting its practices from the world system has seen this continuous invasion of the marital bed with experimental practices borrowed from tantric/karma-sutra/new-age religions which employ sexual positions with idolatrous overtones.
There are methods a christian will employ to sleep with his wife that will glorify shiva and not Yahweh.
There are methods a Christian will sleep with his wife which will glorify ‘animals’ and not Yahweh.
There are methods a Christian will employ in sleeping with his wife that will exalt demonic bondage.  I’ll leave that there.

One great thing about the broad release of the Holy Spirit is that He is to ‘guide us into ALL truth’. With the Holy Spirit there are no taboos and boundaries of discussion in so far as our motives for inquiry are genuine and holy.
I would always say to couples, When in doubt ‘Ask the Holy Spirit”. With the exception of people who have seared consciences, always be sensitive to the ‘checks’ or ‘red flags’ or ‘peace indicators’ of the Holy Spirit.  With His guidance you cannot slip into error.

There was also a case i witnessed a few years back where the husband (who happened to be a church leader) was in the habit of watching pornographic films both at home and work. Initially what started as a hidden act soon evolved into open viewing at home. This soon denigrated into him demanding his wife’s participation in viewing and ‘role-playing’ what they were seeing to their own ‘private taping’…when the wife complained and resisted he kept quoting Eph 5:24 as his justification whilst leaving out the crucial verse 27.

#3 Oral Sex
By far the most divisive issue of what is right and what is perverse between Christians is the practice of oral sex.
There’s little or no dispute when it comes to Anal sex, Bestiality and such but oral sex is quite divisive because it is most widely practiced amongst Christians. Though the association of the breasts being made for enjoyment are clearly stated in Proverbs 5: 17-19
The bible doesn’t seem to help much when you read it from an ordinary standpoint as it does not go into detailed specificity on the issue. So we get a lot of Christians who quote Songs of Solomon 2:3 & 4:16 as ‘inferred indicators’ of approval.
I personally don’t agree that Songs of Solomon 2:3 & 4:16 is a veiled justification of oral sex in the marriage bed.On the surface, we can argue that the physiological dangers of bacterial transmission argue against it, the locational ‘insuitability’ argue against it. What I have also observed from counseling is that rarely both parties are even in perfect agreement on the matter, it is often accompanied by a feeling of being demeaned and would at most times require emotional/physical coercion by 1 spouse on the other.Spiritually I fail to see how the practice of it glorifies God. It is demonic in origin and brings temple defilement upon its practitioners. When you spend a few years conducting deliverance it will become impossible to argue otherwise.Oral sex is immoral! its practice amongst married christians is a great source of defilement of the marriage bedAnother justification we often hear paraded by advocates is that we see it in nature (animals) just as we see homosexuality. But they forget that the very nature being observed is in a fallen state!
We must flee from it!!!
There is also the matter of masturbation, but time will not permit that discussion here and frankly it requires a whole discussion in of it itself because it has become rife amongst brethren in church.

Perhaps I should have started with a disclaimer before proceeding into this subject matter because of its often emotive nature. Consecration is a subject matter which is not being discussed in most churches today as such many Christians are no longer empowered on how to keep their bodies Honourable and void of defilement.

I welcome further discussions and contributions on this matter (open or private) for this is by no means exhaustive. I will always implore the christian that whatever way you feel, FIRST take the matter to the Holy Spirit on your knees in prayer and meditation and let Him enlighten you further on the subject and also point out personal areas that you may be falling short of divine expectation.

Dear Brother, Dear Sister, whether you are married or intending to marry – You cannot afford to run on assumption in this matter, it is crucial in your walk with God and its violation carries severe everlasting consequence.
Ignorance in this subject CAN ABSOLUTELY & LITERALLY KILL YOU!!!.

As the spirit permits we will discuss further on the issue of masturbation some other time. But if you have learned anything from this and your spirit also bears you witness of this truth, I would encourage you to forward and share to as many of your church brethren as possible that they also may be enlightened.


3 For this is the will of God, that you should be consecrated (separated and set apart for pure and holy living): that you should abstain and shrink from all sexual vice,
4 That each one of you should know how to [c]possess (control, manage) his own [d]body in consecration (purity, separated from things profane) and honor,
5 Not [to be used] in the passion of lust like the heathen, who are ignorant of the true God and have no knowledge of His will,….1 Thessalonians 4:3-5



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